CHARITY REVISITED
Photo by Noah Buscher on Unsplash
Kindness
Although it may seem a stretch to compare kindness to charity since kindness is of itself a separate thing, there is a notion that to give someone ‘the benefit of the doubt’ is to be kind. It is a condescending notion yet, sometimes we have to assess a situation for the best outcome. Along with common sense, discernment, and experience, we give someone the benefit of the doubt. Put another way, be charitable by suspending possible judgemental view, criticism, or scepticism. To do so is what I consider the warmer side of charity, as warm as the sun-kissed desert sands, unlike the blast of icy freezing charity described in my first article.
Trust
To suspend judgment requires confidence in our powers of discernment, our empathy or emotional intelligence. It also needs a rejection of any negativity affecting the decision. The onus is not on the receiver of our charity to effect a positive outcome. It is up to us to accept whatever the outcome we stand by our decision to think positively in the situation. This requires trust in our abilities and trust in the powers of positivity, regardless of disappointment. When we think if something can go right it will, rather than that if something can go wrong it will, as suggested in ‘Murphy’s Law’.
Attitude
Attitude plays a powerful role in the decisions we make. If a child or learner is to produce the best results from our teaching, the teacher’s positive attitude makes all the difference. There are countless adults that come through the education systems who can testify to the difference a positive teacher made. An important quality we need is also the ability to see the good potential in people and to assist others. Anyone who has difficulty achieving their potential for good can have this made easier drastically with a little help. Taking the time to care for other’s needs, be they material or psychological, is also charitable. That ‘I see you’ ability is crucial. We need to learn to give the best of our abilities rather than the least.
Doubt
Why, you may ask, is it that so many times a negative result of a decision we made disappoints? Is doubt not a necessary ingredient needed to guide the decisions we make? At the very moment that we have doubts, we have to remember, that disappointment is a necessary component of the life process. The minor setbacks and the large are the very things that make the learning process possible. Hence we have the advice that to learn to ride a horse we have to get back in the saddle even after a fall. That is why we tolerate the rain when all we want is the sunshine, or the drought, because we know it teaches us to appreciate the rain when it finally arrives. Disappointment must lead us to find another way. 
Photo by Ospan Ali on Unsplash
Doubt has a role to play, and that role is as a fact check. Once you decide that even though the check did not have a hundred percent result and you move forward anyway, you now trust in a positive outcome. Inaction goes nowhere. You either go forward in confidence, or you make conditions or positive changes to affect the dynamics involved to ensure the best outcome. You could point out that your confidence in the other person depends on positive outcomes, as in giving an employee a challenging task to perform. Reckless trust is not being advocated here, particularly if results affect the wellbeing of the business.
Con Artist
Con artists are a dime a dozen and we must outsmart them at all costs. Excellent research and wisdom gained from experience are the guides to placing your trust wisely, not recklessly. Learning our lessons well is important, however, not all decisions will be excellent decisions. We must remember, though, that disappointment is all grist to the mill of life that develops the qualities of discernment and resilience that we need to grow. Finally, we have to be charitable in our thinking and in our actions, to get anywhere in our relationships with society at large. Undue criticism, scepticism, and condemnation are less likely to have positive results.
Lynda Rogle ©
