Ego & Validation

Ego Definition

Some suggest that if we let go of our ego, we no longer have a need for validation. Is this possible even if we could let go completely of our egos? The ego serves some sort of purpose. One such purpose is an awareness of our individuality, that is self-esteem. We base popular criticism of the ego on the idea of complete absorption in one’s own interests and feelings. Like most things, we should strive for a balance, not letting go of the ego in all circumstances.

Low Self-Esteem

There are already too many people with low self-esteem, to which all the confidence building courses and personal development gurus can attest. Hopefully, extreme cases of ego gone crazy are in the minority. Recent history has shown that the infamous ego-driven megalomaniacs such as Hitler often come to a sticky end. Extreme cases aside, we have in the general population a higher egotism than desirable. We get this in government institutions where various agendas are strictly for the individual’s advancement and unbridled ambition. The proliferation of self-promotion on social media also feeds egos that are out of control. Whether it is possible to reduce egotism in the general population by simply teaching or preaching how to let go of the ego is hard to imagine.

Positive

The positive thing would be to show why we should not focus our feelings and activities entirely on self-promotion. All religions preach this. The individual accepts this or not. There are those of us who think that caring for others is weak and undesirable. I would suggest that they study the lives of prominent egotists and see for themselves how happy or content they are.

Validation

As to letting go of the need for validation in the process of letting go of the ego, the two are hardly compatible. I see someone who needs no validation as an egotist. If we need no validation, it suggests that we will do as we please, regardless of any consideration of others’ opinions or needs.

Humility

A constant need for validation, on the other hand, can suggest a lack of confidence and low self-esteem. Poor self-esteem can be a sign of an underdeveloped ego. So, when we let go of ego, it does not have to mean that we no longer need to be validated. I can focus less on myself, letting go of my ego, and still seek your opinion or validation. This is what I think humility is all about, rather than an obsequious attitude, which more often than not reeks of insincerity.